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Journal Updates These are just random journals I
started a few months ago. They are meant merely as an update with
what is going on with Cleo and me in the process of getting
ourselves back into competing as well as getting Hanaeleh off the
ground.
July 31, 2005 Wow... I haven't done an update in six months! Well, it's high time, then. Number one, Cesar is doing well- he is definitely growing, but his manners are still pretty decent for a two-year old, and an Arab to boot. :) His legs are looking great- his feet are nice and hard and hardly chip at all when we go for walks or hikes. One of them almost killed me- I took the wrong trail and a nice 30 minute hike turned into over two hours. In 90-100 degree weather, no less. Phew! It was not much fun- I fell a few times because the trail was slick in places and hurt my knee pretty badly, but Cesar was totally fine throughout everything- he followed when I asked, and moved forward as well. He seems to understand trail very well- not as well as Cleo or Gwen, but they have a few years on him, and a few thousand miles as well. The only issue with Cesar is his eyes right now- he got an infection and then had fly eggs in them- terrible! Luckily he's on antibiotics now and the vet got almost everything out, so he's feeling a ton better. So far he's kept his fly mask on, too, so hopefully that should *never* happen again! Another few weeks and he should be as good as new! Cleo is doing absolutely awesome- I wish it weren't so darn hot out here so I could take her on longer trail rides- as it is, I'd have to get up waaay too early to go out before it starts to get warm. While Cleo is fine in the warmer weather, I pretty much melt, so we'll just have to be satisfied with shorter 5-10 mile rides right now and work up to longer ones by the end of August and into September. I did have an epiphany a few days ago, however, concerning my little horse. I had gone to a keurring (I don't know how to spell it- I've seen it both keurring and kuerring) clinic on Friday- it was absolutely awesome and the horses there were incredibly gorgeous. I was groom to a very handsome three year-old whose mane was about two feet long, and his tail was so thick we couldn't tie it up- so I ended up holding it because it was dragging on the ground! He did very well and I was very impressed with everything, except perhaps the runner who kept bonking horses on the head- I just can't stand ever hitting a horse on the face, especially for doing something silly- instead of whacking it, try training it instead... but that's my personal philosophy, and won't get into it anymore here. The horses were infectuous and by the end of the day I wanted to buy (well, I still do) my friend's other Friesian which is for sale- he's so cute! He has a peppier personality than most Friesians, being from the Lucas line, and I really love riding him. :) So after more than twelve hours of Friesians, I drive to my stables to see my little Arabs... long manes, but not as long... pretty tails, but not quite as pretty. I didn't feel let down, but it's like looking at models all day, then looking at "real" people. :) I was tired, so I slipped Cleo's halter on and rode her bareback to the arena because the walk from the paddock seemed quite daunting. Since I was there, I rode her around the arena at a walk, then a trot, then a canter, just with the lead rope in my left hand. She was absolutely awesome and so much fun! I think what I want to do, and we do it- she can feel the smallest bit of movement and will respond accordingly. How incredibly awesome is that? When I slipped off her back (she stopped square as I moved to get off), I pulled off the halter and she nudged her head into my chest and kept some slight pressure there, what I've always considered to be her "hug." I lightly petted her muzzle and around her ears, taking care not to let her think I'd grab her left ear, as she's still sensitive from being twitched before I bought her, and thought to myself, "What the hell would I do with a Friesian that I can't do with Cleo?" And honestly, I could not think of a thing. Friesians are pretty- so is my horse. I want a mane and tail to braid- I have two of each (counting Gwen!). Trail rides, low-level dressage, western pleasure, whatever- I can do all of it on my little girl. It took a lot of time and energy and even tears, but I can say without a doubt that I love Cleo and would not trade her for all of the Friesians in the world (really). If I had more time and money, I'd buy my friend's Friesian, because he's fun, but if I can only have one horse to ride, it will always be Cleo. What's that saying? Be happy with what you have? I love what I have. If I'm looking through rose-colored glasses, then so be it, because I am seriously that much happier because of it.
January 2, 2005 October 1, 2004 It all started because I had promised to take the dog out an hour before. At Until I saw the sun. The setting sun; a huge ball of fire, slowly dipping below the mountains that separate me from the ocean was a hazy red-orange. It was that red-orange you find in the box of crayons that you often mistake for red, ruining your picture. I was drawn to it, and walked as quickly as I could across the street to watch it set, not minding the dog, who was less interested in the “walking” part of walk, as opposed to the “sniffing” part of walk. As the sun slid out of sight, I was reminded of two things: One, that if I did not have a dog, I would never be out here, admiring the awesome beauty of a sunset on a Friday evening. As I thought about that, I was reminded of my two friends who had helped me out when I sprained my foot. They own a beautiful Quarter Horse named Domingo and have found a wonderful community at my old stable with my previous trainer. Domingo had been wasting away in a stall for years. He had even been sold, but was returned. The poor boy wasn’t bad, just energetic, and needed someone who knew what they were doing to help handle him. He was a project, but not a huge one- he just needed someone who was going to come out and see him everyday. After dealing with my little Arabs, Domingo was a piece of cake for my friends (and my horses are pretty good, I think… just a little sensitive. O.K.- a lot sensitive. But still good). They bought him supplements, fixed up his stall, hired a new farrier, and even handwalked him for a month when an old injury showed up on the vet check. They spent time with him, told him that they wouldn’t leave him, and he was the first to know that they were going to buy him. In essence, they loved him. They started by leasing a lame old boy who was known for being both psychotic and for being a hard keeper. Today they have a beautiful sound
Quarter Horse who is learning that plastic bags can hold
carrots, and are not necessarily something to fear. If I had never sprained my foot, I would not have herniated the discs in my back. If I had never sprained my foot, I most likely would have been on my horse at that very moment. But if I had never sprained my foot, I don’t know if this story would have turned out the same: if I had never sprained my foot, Domingo might still be wasting away in his stall. The second thought came to me as I stood watching the last bit of sun erode from sight. It disappeared so quickly that I had barely enough time to get to the other side of the street before the seconds counted down and the sun was gone. We don’t often realize how quickly time passes us by. Every time I think, “Oh, I’ll ride tomorrow,” is one less ride I’ll ever have with her. Every time I think, “We’ll do this another day,” is one more opportunity wasted. We have too few sunsets not to enjoy them; too few fall afternoons not to gallivant along the trails. May 7, 2004 I'm not sure if I have some sort of voodoo curse upon me, perhaps my parents did not invite a certain witch to my baptism, or perhaps I have offended the gods in some way, but I seem to be frequenting the emergency room quite often. This time it was for a mishap in Tae Kwon Do- I did a basic roundhouse kick with my left leg, then landed to kick with my right. When I landed, however, my ankle gave out with a sharp, "CRACK" sound and a lot of pain ensued. My instructor, Master Choi, was very kind and rubbed the foot immediately, but it was already starting to swell. At home I called a good friend to pick me up and take me to the hospital, and then both of my parents. My mother asked me why I didn't drive myself, since I had an automatic. "Well, Mom," I said, "First, I'm in excrutiating pain. Second, one should always be able to call in a favor with a friend to be taken to the emergency room." Not only did my friend take me to the ER, she *stayed* the entire time (close to five hours). The staff there was so wonderful as well- funny but efficient. They x-rayed my ankle and foot (the X-ray technician told me that his mother was abducted by aliens and then conceived him...) my RN was named Ebeneezer (yeah, he's never heard that one before) and my doctor came in sounding like Bruce Lee. A few vicodin helped the mood along as well. :) Out of all of this I have been os overwhelmed at how really lucky I am and how many really truly compassionate people there are in the world. This morning my friend from Tae Kwon Do and his wife came out to help me with the horses and she didn't even complain when she had to bail off the horse (no stirrups!). Through it all they were not only obliging and helpful (and put up with me quite well), but they offered to come out and help this weekend! Many of my friends have been offering to drive me to the doctor or the store, pick things up from the store, walk the dog, etc., etc., etc. Oftentimes I think we get bogged down in our daily routine to remember how truly blessed most of us really are. We often focus on the negative instead of the bigger picture. No, I can't ride. No, I can't go to Tae Kwon Do- heck, getting across the room on these damn crutches is a feat in and of itself. But so what if my foot's busted for a bit- I have been reminded of how fortunate I am to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. It's difficult to see that the world is really a good place when we read about gang violence; see the pictures of the six American soldiers abusing the Iraqi prisoners; it's even difficult over something so trivial as getting cut off while driving. And, for me, it's terribly difficult to see the good in the world when I see horses mistreated even within the extent of the law. It's also very difficult to fathom that the congress in Illinois would refuse to vote in a bill that would cease horse slaughter for human consumption. Things like these get me angry and frustrated and upset to the point that the goodness that is in the world seems to pale in comparison. But it doesn't, and that's what we have to remember. Stories of altruism and kindness have to be remembered- for every politician who refuses to see the cruelty in horse slaughter, there are hundreds of us who are sickened by it. For every person who cuts us off, we have to remember those times when people did let us through. For those six soldiers who did reprehensible acts, there are thousands who did their jobs with dignity and honor, and for every gang member, there are thousands who try to help them get off the street and get an education. Kind people are out there, and we have to try to surround ourselves with as many of them as possible by being one ourselves. Because, as I told my mother, if nothing else every person should have enough favors built up to be able to call in a trip to the ER. With my luck, however, I'm going to have to be Mother Theresa pretty soon, or start calling a cab. February 27, 2004 It is 1:23am and I have to be at work in less than 6 hours. I am completely wired and I don't know why! I *really* need to get to bed. On another note, things are going well on the horse-end. I'm starting on all of the paperwork for the 501c3 and hopefully I'll get that up and running within the next few months... phew! That will be a big load off of my mind! Of course, then I'll have to consider what I want to do in regards of rescuing horses. I haven't seen too many updates on TIER's website, so I have to see what the feedlot status is there. They do have a number of PMU babies, but I'd rather concentrate on rescuing something that theoretically hasn't already been rescued already. I also need to look into purchasing a trailer so Cleo and I can start competing in some endurance competitions... her hocks are pretty arthritic, and although she works out of any stiffness, it's quite apparent that she only has a short time left for a career in endurance. But then, she does surprise me- her willingness to go and her ambition are quite remarkable and she constantly amazes me with her desire to move out and even to win. If she starts running at the bottom of a hill, she knows that the race is to the top- even if we're racing ourselves. I started this hoping that it would encourage her to trot instead of run, and it has quite a bit- sometimes out on trail she'll take a few steps of a canter, then settle back into a trot which is much faster and easier for her. But every once in a while she'll decide to "take on" the mountain or hill, and I've been letting her, encouraging her the best I can to work all the way up. At the top she may be breathing a bit heavy, but she recovers within a few minutes and is ready for more. It's at this time that she pushes me- I think in my old age I'd just as soon have a leisurely walk than take a twisty trail at about 20 miles an hour! I've been noticing a real change in her overall self-esteem, as well. I know it sounds silly to talk about self-esteem in a horse, but she really is starting to believe in herself. At our previous stable, my little horse which I would easily qualify as the "omega" in a group of horses (Gwen, of course, being the "alpha"), held her ground at a distinct third- behind the lead gelding and the lead mare (Gwen, of course!). Thoroughbreds two hands higher than she were bucked and squealed at as she took her rightful place in the herd. Out on trail, the sensory work I've done with my friends has helped immensely as well- last week she saw some caution tape and, at first, shied away from it, but was still brave enough to go up to it with no problem. When she recognized what it was- caution tape- she moved to go right through it! This being part of the training for the mounted unit- to move through "solid" objects- but it really took me aback since we haven't done that training in a few years. Yesterday it was raining cats and dogs and I needed the umbrella- but I haven't done any training with the umbrella, the last time probably when I was practicing with the caution tape. She did not care for the umbrella, to be true, but she was quite non-chalant when I walked her to the arena with the umbrella; she was just careful I didn't jab her in the eye- and who could fault her for that? She's starting to take care of herself without needing to freak out and run away from everything- she assesses situations now whereas before she just tried to run from them. I don't think a horse can do that without first having some self-worth and a belief that she can stand her own ground in certain situations. She really seems to feel more secure and has a "I can do this!" type of attitude with most anything we do now- it's really a joy to watch such a transformation. My only problem with riding now are my riding skills- some of which I hope return when my body regains some of its muscle tone- but I know a lot of my riding is lack of lessons. This is going to be my downfall, to be sure, but at least I'm back on my horse where I belong. A few hundred more miles and Cleo and I will both be back in shape... now how to finagle a trailer.... January 1, 2004 As I sit here at This past year I have watched my dog get old, my car die, and my job deteriorate into a place that makes me ill to go to every morning. My house is still in a shambles of a remodel mess and I don’t know when it will be done. My back, which was just starting to show some signs of normalcy, was destroyed when I was broadsided (see above reference to dead car), and I fractured the vertebrae in my lower back. It has been a difficult year. My horses have been fine, although not
altogether
great. Cleo went dead lame this year, to
the point of not walking, and was unrideable for over a month. Gueniviere, in her undaunting desire to wean
my bank account, sliced her head open at At present I stare at the wreck that is my house and wonder who will put all of the decorations away. Somehow they all got put out, but I left my Christmas spirit in one of the boxes a few years ago and haven’t been able to find it since. But for all of its challenges, things have ended on a neutral note if nothing else. My dog does have bad arthritis, but he heels well now and I don’t have to worry about him running off. My car is dead, but I finally have my new truck, and any day now it will stop feeling like a rental car and actually like my own car; my left foot has stopped pounding the floor every time I slow down, and I’ve stopped reaching for the stick shift when I turn. My horses are happy and Cleo’s gained some weight since I haven’t been riding her much. I don’t know if I should count myself lucky. Lucky would not have me walking away from the car accident- lucky would have me not getting into the accident at all. But, since I was, I count myself as fortunate for not being hurt worse and still being able to use all of my limbs. Same goes for the horse and for the job. There’s always some sort of bright side, even to a car wreck. This year was kind of like a car wreck. It was unlucky and very difficult emotionally and financially, although at the end it paid out. Still, it would have been nice to have kept the car; since it was gone, however, it was nice to have the money. That’s what 2003 was; it was a pretty frustrating year, but at the end, it was nice that it was over, and, for the most part, everyone came out of it walking. For 2004, all I can say is, pay your insurance. |